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I'm a lead farmer motherfucker!

Tumblr: I've made a huge mistake.

Jul 30th at 10PM / via: noshwhorevine / op: sneakyfeets / 193,579 notes

ask-gallows-callibrator:

levi-has-the-booty:

Teacher: Reading a book is better than sex.
[Class titters]
Teacher: It’s like a 10-hour orgasm!
[Laughter increases]
Girl pipes up: Yeah, and with a book I actually get to finish!
[Boys’ laughter dies off almost instantly as the girls hoot]

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH 

SHOTS FIRED 


Jul 30th at 10PM / via: noshwhorevine / op: lamebert / 259,377 notes

lamebert:

caterpillars have more muscles than humans but i’d like to see one try to fight me irl and see what happens


Jul 30th at 10PM / via: noshwhorevine / op: billhitchert / 185,643 notes

babylizard:

billhitchert:

billhitchert:

I just realized that “mini” is short for “minimal” and I feel like my whole life has been turned upside down

Wait that’s not even true it’s short for “miniature” FUCK MY LIFE

minimal golf. not too much golf. just enough golf so it wont piss you off.


Jul 30th at 10PM / via: tommostrunk / op: umbreon-ite / 104,997 notes
umbreon-ite:

Ah yes, the flute

umbreon-ite:

Ah yes, the flute


The Vampire Diaries Exclusive: Bonnie and Damon’s Comic-Con Plea [x]

#it s like he wasn t even scared he was on the dead pool #he was upset he was only worth 5 dollars


tylerchokely:

i hate when babies cry like grow the fuck up and pay taxes 



Jul 30th at 8PM / via: dailyjhutch / op: joshutchersonn / 2,753 notes

selflubricatinganus:

marvel idea: give black widow a female love interest. me. hire me to kiss scarlett johansson.